Bob Hope Back From the Dead

HOPELESS! Bob Hope, the legendary comedian and actor, who had formerly passed away in 2003, has now been brought back to life by the Internal Revenue Service after failing to pay taxes.

According to sources close to the situation, the IRS was not satisfied with Hope’s failed attempts to settle his back taxes before his journey to the afterlife, so they worked with federal mages to raise him from the dead to face justice.

When asked for comment, an IRS spokesperson stated that “Mr. Hope’s failure to pay his fair share of taxes is unacceptable, and we will not let this go unpunished. Death is no longer a barrier to justice.”

The spokesperson went on to say that “the resurrection of Bob Hope is just the beginning of our efforts to hold accountable those who fail to meet their tax obligations.”

With Hope back on the mortal plane, rumors suggest the feds may put him back on the USO track, or possibly perform stand-up comedy in front of audiences of angry taxpayers to repay his debts.